In July of 1998 I was 27 & had just gotten together with my youngest girl’s father who I’ve since divorced in November 2016. We married in July of 2000 and in July 2001 she was born. There’s that July connection again. It sure seems to be a big month for me.
In September 1998 my sister had given birth to my niece and I was so excited to be an auntie. I waited a long time for this cutie to come in to the world. Sadly, I was only in her life for a short time before all the nastiness happened which I will explain shortly.
My sister has had a rough relationship with our father too. In the past she would cut him out of her life only to decide to take him back and then cut him out again. I was also on the receiving end of this too a few times over the years.
In 1999 there was an issue over something that was agreed & settled upon with my father a couple weeks earlier. I was planning on going out of town with the girls and the fiancé for a 3 day weekend up north. Before we left everything was fine and everyone was in a great mood. So you can imagine my surprise when I came home 3 days later to a huge s* storm not of my making.
I believe what started this was his drinking & stewing habit that he had. There were a few things going on behind the scenes while I was gone that I didn’t know about. I don’t know if someone decided to stir the pot again for s* and giggles or what. Maybe they were bored or maybe they were jealous of something/someone. I don’t know.
Anyways, my father decided to go back on his word because he didn’t like that someone who I knew was going to stop over to briefly visit us upstairs that evening. I felt that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back with him.
When we confronted my father over the situation & his going back on his word, he then claimed that he never agreed upon anything. I could not understand why this was a big deal since we were living upstairs, renting from him and I was an adult.
Long story short, he got very nasty and said a lot of horrible things to my face. My father then called my sister to tell her everything that was going on. During this conversation he made many false accusations about me. I in return called her up and told her none of it was true. I was not only baffled but very upset by all that transpired.
It was a huge mess and it’s end result was turning my father, grandma and sister against me. All 3 then took it one step further by shunning and disowning me. This lasted from 1999-2002. They wanted zero to do with me or my girls. We then had no choice but to move somewhere else and that’s exactly what we did. We found a duplex to rent and stayed there from 1999 to 2003.
In April 2001 3 months before my youngest daughter was to be born my mother died unexpectedly at the age of 58. The issues that surrounded that situation was unbelievable. My sister who found out first did not handle it very well with me.
One morning as I was sitting at my computer desk, I got a bunch of not so nice messages through Yahoo Messenger from my sister telling me how our mother suddenly died the day before. My family wasn’t speaking to me so this caught me off guard.
My mother had been married to her 3rd husband who was a great guy and they were living in Iron Mountain, Michigan where she had grown up. It happened in a 12 hour time period. One minute she was alive and the next she was gone. No warning just gone. My mother passed away in up north Wisconsin.
I being pregnant didn’t need the negativity so I ignored my sister and continued to do my own thing like normal. Eventually over time my sister would begin speaking to me again.
In 2002 my father and sister decided to speak to me again. In between this time my sister and her husband were living back at the house with my father and grandma. They were currently living upstairs while my sister & her husband lived downstairs.
When we bought our house in July 2003 in the suburb next to where my father grandma and sister lived, I would take my 3 daughters to visit everyone almost daily. We would hang out by sister and niece downstairs and then go upstairs to see my father and grandma for awhile. This went on for some time and then gradually it began to change.
A few years later my sister, her husband & daughter would be moving out again in August or September of 2004 and into their new home. My father then moved downstairs and rented the upstairs out. On September 17, 2004 my grandma died. This just happened to be my niece’s birthday.
The story begins to go downhill for my father from here. He was now a landlord and always had some less than stellar tenants renting upstairs from him. Today looking back at those situations I understand now that it boiled down to the fact that my father didn’t like how he was losing “control” over me.
Part 6 to be continued.